Dear OJ-
Really, I should gloat. I mean, not only did I steal your stuff, you got in trouble and blamed the wrong guys. Sucka. You didn't even see me coming.
But guilt is a funny thing. Because of my own festering guilt, here I stand, an apology swelling from my heart. I hope you can forgive me.
However, know this Mr.Simpson: Although I feel badly about what happened, I'm still not giving back your precious "name doodles" or what collectors refer to as "autographs." And do you know why?
Because I still think you did it.
Sincerely,
Duplicity L. Jones
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