Al...lan

Al Franken. Seems that we've had another run in. I'm sorry that you must have felt put out by the fact that you had to wait for Margaret to drop me off before you could be dropped off at your own respective party. We could see your scowl. DEAL WITH IT.

PS. Stop driving that #$%^&*@! SUV.

So attractive.

It's really attractive when people you might be interested in act uninterested and they can't be bothered, but get jealous the moment you start speaking with someone else. It's my favorite behavior of males 20-37. Keep it up! It's really awesome!

In second place is text messaging. God. Texting is so hot. I get all bothered every time someone near me partakes. GAAAAAHHHHHHH.

Water is bad for you.