Lie of the Month

Damn, I have been remiss in my duties as a liar. Then, to top it all off, someone hacked into my account and posted some gibber jabber about a text message breakup. What?

Seriously, whoever had the balls to hack into my account has another thing coming.

Furthermore America: How did you like that little election trick? I thought you would. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Sworry

I didn't mean it. I thought it was a good idea. I mean, you love to text message. Sure, I always thought it rated lower than IMing on the scale of socially appropriate forms of communication, but I just went with it. I thought you'd like it.
Why is a txt msg brkup so wrong?

BTW, your ass looks fat today. Betch.