World News Headline

Apparently the International Olympic Committee has officially recognized fishing as an Olympic Sport. This change will take place for the 2012 games in London.

Start practicing now!

Fact

Mr.Spock is actually demonstrating a Vulcan gang symbol for the Vulcani-Thugz.

So, not only did he fool all members aboard the Starship Enterprise, he fooled you too. That makes him one of the best liars ever.

Time for a story...

Back in '86 I spent sometime working as a glass bottom boat operator in Clearwater Springs, Florida. It was a great job- I had few responsibilities (mostly keeping the boat from sinking, and keeping passengers on board), and could drink on the job. Those were the good old days when it didn't matter too much if you hit a manatee with your boat. I never tried to hit any, but I swear some of them were asking for it.

Anyway, one time there was an incident with a turtle and a bag of pork rinds - the boat sank, and I was told that I had to replace the boat using my wages.

That's when I moved to Wisconsin.

An apology to OJ.

Dear OJ-
Really, I should gloat. I mean, not only did I steal your stuff, you got in trouble and blamed the wrong guys. Sucka. You didn't even see me coming.

But guilt is a funny thing. Because of my own festering guilt, here I stand, an apology swelling from my heart. I hope you can forgive me.

However, know this Mr.Simpson: Although I feel badly about what happened, I'm still not giving back your precious "name doodles" or what collectors refer to as "autographs." And do you know why?

Because I still think you did it.

Sincerely,
Duplicity L. Jones

Fun Fact

If you utilize common sense at least once a day, the size of your brain actually increases by 2.3%. So, in a way you can literally grow a brain.

Update: Shapeshifter

I saw the fiend again, this time in the form of the seemingly innocent and young Felis silvestris catus, or kitten, if you will.

Are there specialists that deal with this? I know that if I was to have ghosts I should call the Ghostbusters, and for Monsters, the Monster Squad, but what does one do for Shapeshifters?

This is very tricky, methinks. Very tricky indeed.

Maybe I should read this book?

Constant Vigilance!

I think we all can learn a little lesson:
http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php

It feels like fall today.

Fall is my favorite of the four seasons, excluding summer and spring (which are much better and offer more fun activities). Although it is not technically autumn yet (autumn begins the fourth Thursday of every ninth month in the lunar cycle, but only after the high tide) one can feel it in the weather.

It feels cold.

Has this happened to you?

I was late to work today. Yes, I do have a job outside of blogging. I work as a semi-professional dogwalker. I haven't qualified for completely pro status yet, because the state board requires an exam, but I have all the other requirements. Dog walking is hard. You really have to understand the clients. Plus, there is a young woman who seems to enjoy shouting "wanna go for a walk?" each time I take the dogs out. Drives them wild. Really not a classy young lady. Says her name is Gertrude, but it sounds like a fake. Anyway, I was late today. I woke up and there was a man in my apartment. At first I though it was a Ninja, so naturally I was a little worried. Usually if you see a Ninja, it's too late (see below). However, I noticed this particular man was not wearing the traditional shinobi shozoku.

Okay. Not a ninja.

Much, much, much worse. Suddenly I was faced with a fox, standing precisely where the man once stood. A shapeshifter!

Now, has anyone else had an encounter with a shapeshifter? Nasty business. You can't catch them! So, as soon as I began my attempt to remove the intruder (a process which involved me yelling and charging forward with a shoe), he shifted forms into a Coccinellidae and took flight.

Knowing I was defeated by the very nature of the devilish fiend, I left for work, with the weighty knowledge that another confrontation is surely invetiable.

I am the luckiest person in the world!

Watch out for Ninjas. I have a feeling that we may be seeing more of them (or, for many, they may encounter the misfortune of NOT seeing the Ninja before it's too late.) Keep your eyes trained upward, because Ninjas often lurk above. Also, Ninjas can't swim, so maybe hangout in a lake, sea, ocean, river, pond, pool, loch, bay or strait. Avoid streams and bathtubs.

Stay Ever Vigilant!

Things, besides lies, I love:

Rambling without a point
Being annoyed
Lack of common sense (a.k.a "duh")
Pretentious art
Web logs that are very serious in content and nature
Creepers
javascript:void(0)
The Clap

Has this happened to you?

I was late to work today. Yes, I do have a job outside of blogging. I work as a semi-professional dogwalker. I haven't qualified for completely pro status yet, because the state board requires an exam, but I have all the other requirements. Dog walking is hard. You really have to understand the clients. Plus, there is a young woman who seems to enjoy shouting "wanna go for a walk?" each time I take the dogs out. Drives them wild. Really not a classy young lady. Says her name is Gertrude, but it sounds like a fake. Anyway, I was late today. I woke up and there was a man in my apartment. At first I though it was a Ninja, so naturally I was a little worried. Usually if you see a Ninja, it's too late (see below). However, I notice this particular man was not wearing the traditional shinobi shozoku.

Okay. Not a ninja.

Much, much, much worse. A shapeshifter.

Now, has anyone else had an encounter with a shapeshifter? Nasty business. You can't catch them! So, as soon as I began my attempt to remove the intruder (a process which involve me yelling and charging forward with a shoe), he shifted forms into a Coccinellidae and took flight.

Knowing I was defeated by the very nature of the devilish fiend, I left for work, with the weighty knowledge that another confrontation is surely invetiable.